Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
