i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
