Don't you send me to vm
4 words: hood of his car
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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