I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
