I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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