At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
