I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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