i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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