I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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