I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize