they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
