i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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