ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
