I wish I could teleport
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
MIDGETS
????
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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