I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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