.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
whose parrot is this?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
