I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
