So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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