Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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