Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
