john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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