Having a random hookup so left but love u
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
