You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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