this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
