PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This beer is not sobering me up at all
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
