i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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