Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
