Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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