Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
