this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
