you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize