Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i love accidental penises.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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