We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
