can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
