I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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