I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
