Tell her she can't have a vagina
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She told me I should be a condom model.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
