Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
