He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
