What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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