Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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