I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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