im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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