butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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