That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize