are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
