i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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