ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize