just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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