am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
someone owes me an orgasm
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
