I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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