you guys were way drunker than both of me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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