just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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