..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
