when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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