Yo dont text me then not text me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize