We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
how drunk are you?
Several
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
