Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
