Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
