hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
