how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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